This Maximum Octane throwback revisits one of the show’s most moving conversations. Lee Anderson, service manager at Integrity Auto Care in South Beloit, Illinois, shares how he and his wife, Brittany, went through years of infertility and an emotional adoption journey before welcoming their son, Asher. The episode originally aired as episode 61.
The story resonates with anyone who has faced a long wait for something they wanted deeply. It also offers practical advice for couples considering adoption, from where to start to what to avoid.
What You Will Learn
- About Lee and Brittany’s background story
- The excruciating process of “speed dating” birth mommas
- Lee and Brittany’s miracle from God
- Where to start once you decide to adopt a child
- Lee shares tips and advice for couples considering adoption
Why We Are Sharing This Story Again
Lee’s story is a reminder that the people we work with often carry burdens we cannot see. A service manager greeting customers with a smile may be going through something enormous at home. For shop leaders, that awareness is a call to lead with compassion and flexibility.
Shop work moves fast. Phones ring, customers wait, and technicians are focused on the job in the bay. In that environment it is easy to see employees only through their roles: the advisor, the tech, the porter. Stories like Lee’s are a reminder that each of those people has a whole life outside the shop, with hopes, losses, and long waits of their own. Leaders who keep that in mind tend to respond with more patience when someone seems distracted or needs time away, and that patience builds the kind of loyalty that no bonus program can buy.
A Look Back at Lee’s Journey
Lee describes the highs and lows of infertility and the exhausting process of “speed dating” birth mothers in search of a match. He explains adoption requirements, the difference between open and closed adoptions, and the risks families face when they try to adopt without the support of a reputable agency or attorney. And he shares the moment their miracle arrived.
Lee’s willingness to talk openly about such a personal experience is part of what makes the episode valuable. Many people going through infertility or adoption feel alone, partly because these journeys are often kept private. Hearing someone describe both the hope and the heartbreak can help listeners feel less isolated. It can also help friends, coworkers, and employers understand that the process may involve repeated disappointment, uncertain timelines, and emotional highs and lows that do not follow a predictable schedule.
Where to Start if You Are Considering Adoption
Around the 17 minute mark, Lee explains where to begin. Families can learn about adoption types, costs, and processes from the Child Welfare Information Gateway. Working with licensed professionals helps protect families from scams and legal problems.
Families considering adoption often begin by learning about the main paths available, such as domestic infant adoption, adoption from foster care, and international adoption. Each has different requirements, timelines, and costs. Many families attend an information session, talk with other adoptive parents, and interview more than one licensed agency or adoption attorney before deciding. It is reasonable to ask how an agency supports birth parents, what fees are involved and when they are due, and how the agency handles situations that do not result in a placement.
Lee’s caution about avoiding the process without professional support is worth repeating. Families who are eager to adopt can be vulnerable to people who take advantage of that hope. Working with licensed, reputable professionals and checking credentials with state licensing agencies are sensible precautions.
What Employees Going Through Adoption May Need
Adoption timelines rarely fit neatly into a work schedule. Families may need time for home studies, background checks, training classes, legal meetings, and travel, sometimes with short notice. When a placement happens, it can come quickly, leaving little time to prepare. Employees in this situation benefit from a manager who understands that flexibility now often means loyalty later.
Emotional support matters too. An employee may experience a match that falls through, which can feel like a real loss even if coworkers never knew it was happening. A simple private check-in, without pressure to share details, lets them know they are supported. Avoid asking intrusive questions about the child’s background or the birth family, and follow the employee’s lead on what they want to discuss. Some will want to celebrate openly; others will prefer privacy.
Building Family-Friendly Policies in a Small Shop
Small shops often worry that family-friendly policies are only for large companies. In reality, many of the most meaningful steps cost little. A written policy that treats adoptive parents the same as birth parents for leave and scheduling sends a clear message. Cross-training team members so one person’s absence does not stop the shop makes it easier to say yes when someone needs time. Clear procedures for requesting leave reduce the stress of asking.
Owners should also understand which leave laws may apply to their business, as federal and state rules differ based on company size and location. The U.S. Department of Labor offers guidance on family and medical leave, and an employment attorney or HR advisor can help with specifics. Beyond legal requirements, a culture where people feel valued during major life events is one of the strongest retention tools a shop has. ATI’s 3 Easy Tips for Keeping Great Employees Happy offers more ideas.
Leading With Compassion Every Day
Compassionate leadership does not mean lowering standards. It means recognizing that people perform best when they feel seen and supported, especially during difficult seasons. Managers can practice this by noticing changes in mood or performance and asking a simple question (“Is everything okay?”) before jumping to discipline. Many owners find that a single supportive conversation changes the relationship with an employee for years.
Compassion also shows up in how the rest of the team responds. When one person needs time away, coworkers often pick up extra work. Leaders can acknowledge that effort, keep schedules fair, and make sure the extra load is temporary. Thanking the people who step up, and planning coverage openly, keeps support from turning into resentment. Over time, a team that has seen each other through hard seasons tends to communicate better, trust more, and stay together longer, which shows up in customer service and in the quality of the work.
How Shops Can Support Employees Through Life Events
- Offer flexible time for appointments and legal meetings.
- Include adoptive parents in parental leave policies.
- Create a culture where people feel safe sharing what they are going through.
- Celebrate new family members, however they arrive.
Lee returns to talk about mental health and team support in Fixing the Unseen. Gilda Dyckman shares another powerful family story in Two Blessings in Disguise.
Frequently Asked Questions
Where should a couple start if they are considering adoption?
Start by learning about the different types of adoption, including domestic infant adoption, foster care adoption, and international adoption, since each has different requirements, costs, and timelines. The Child Welfare Information Gateway is a helpful starting point. Many couples then attend information sessions, talk with adoptive families, and interview several licensed agencies or adoption attorneys. Take time to understand fees, support services, and how each option fits your family before committing.
What is the difference between an open and a closed adoption?
In a closed adoption, identifying information is generally kept private and there is little or no contact between the birth family and the adoptive family. In an open adoption, the families may share identifying information and maintain some level of contact, such as letters, photos, calls, or visits. Many adoptions fall somewhere in between. The right arrangement depends on the families involved, and agencies or attorneys can explain how openness agreements work in your state.
How can an employer support an employee who is adopting a child?
Offer flexibility for appointments, home studies, legal meetings, and travel, which may come with little notice. Include adoptive parents in any parental leave policy so they are treated the same as birth parents. Check in privately and follow the employee’s lead about how much they want to share. Plan coverage in advance where possible, and celebrate the new family member when the employee is ready. Small gestures of understanding often build lasting loyalty.
Do small businesses have to offer leave for adoption?
Requirements depend on the size of the business and its location. Some federal leave rules apply only to employers above a certain number of employees, and many states have their own family leave laws with different thresholds. Because the rules vary, small shop owners should check with their state labor department, an HR advisor, or an employment attorney. Even when leave is not legally required, offering flexibility can help retain valued team members.
How can I avoid adoption scams?
Work with licensed agencies and attorneys, and verify licenses through your state’s licensing authority. Be cautious of anyone who asks for large payments up front, pressures you to act quickly, refuses to provide documentation, or communicates only online. Ask for references and talk with other adoptive families about their experiences. Reputable professionals will explain fees clearly in writing and answer questions openly. When something feels wrong, pause and get a second opinion before sending money.
Resources and Links From This Episode
Connect With the Guests
- Lee: LinkedIn
