Content note: This article discusses suicide, grief, and mental health. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in the U.S.
In the automotive industry, nobody hesitates to buy the right tool for the job. But when it comes to mental health, too many people resist the tools available to help them. Therapy, medication, and calling someone to talk are not weaknesses. They are tools, just like the ones used in the shop every day.
In episode 127 of Maximum Octane, Kim Hickey and Jason Patel welcome back Lee Anderson of Integrity Auto Care for a deeply personal conversation. Lee shares the heavy challenges he faced early in life, why he is passionate about breaking the stigma around mental health, what not to say to someone who is grieving, and why open-door leadership and empathy matter in a shop as much as in life.
What You Will Learn
- Why suicide rates spike around the holidays and what seasonal depression means for mental health
- Lee’s personal story of early struggles and how they shaped his outlook on life and business
- The questions you should never ask someone grieving a suicide
- Why men need to hear it’s okay to cry and show emotion
- How talking about loved ones keeps their memory alive
- Why it’s vital to talk to someone before mental health spirals
- The suicide rate among auto technicians and why the industry needs to pay attention
- Why stigma and pride keep too many from getting help
- How Lee leads his shops with an open-door policy for employees
- Why empathy, listening, and growth conversations build stronger teams
- Life is beautiful, depression is real, and no one should face it alone
The Holidays and Seasonal Depression
Lee opens by discussing why the holiday season and shorter days can be especially hard for people struggling with depression. Mike Warren explored the emotional weight of the season in The B-Side of Holidays. For leaders, it is a time to pay extra attention to how employees are doing.
The holidays can be difficult for many reasons. Some people are grieving someone who is no longer at the table. Others feel financial pressure, loneliness, or family tension. Shorter days and less sunlight can affect mood for many people. In a busy shop, those struggles may be hidden behind a normal work routine, which is why leaders benefit from paying closer attention during this time of year.
Simple actions help. Checking in privately with team members, being flexible about time off when possible, and reminding everyone of available support resources show employees that their well-being matters beyond their productivity.
Lee’s Story
Around the 5 minute mark, Lee shares his personal story of early struggles and how they shaped his outlook on life and business. His willingness to speak openly helps others feel less alone. Listeners may also remember Lee from his earlier episode about adoption, A Miracle From God.
When a leader shares their own struggles, it changes what feels possible for everyone else. Employees who have been hiding their pain may realize they are not alone, and that someone they respect has faced hard things and kept going. Leaders do not need to share every detail of their lives to have this effect. Even acknowledging that they have had difficult seasons can open the door for others.
What Not to Say to Someone Who Is Grieving
Lee discusses the questions you should never ask someone grieving a loss to suicide. Well-meaning people sometimes ask about details or reasons, which can deepen pain. Simple presence, listening, and sharing memories of the person are often far more helpful. Lee also explains how talking about loved ones keeps their memory alive.
People who have lost someone to suicide often face questions that reopen the wound, such as how it happened or whether there were warning signs. Those questions can add guilt to grief. More helpful responses are simple: “I’m so sorry,” “I’m here for you,” or “Would you like to tell me about them?” Practical support, like covering a shift, bringing a meal, or simply sitting together, often matters more than finding the right words.
Remembering the person by name and sharing a story about them can bring comfort. Grief does not follow a schedule, so checking in weeks and months later, not just in the first few days, shows lasting care.
It Is Okay to Cry
Around the 12 minute mark, Lee stresses that men need to hear it is okay to cry and show emotion. The automotive industry has long valued toughness, which can make it harder for people to admit they are struggling. Changing that culture starts with leaders who are willing to be human.
Many people in the trades grew up hearing that showing emotion was a sign of weakness. That message can make it harder to recognize when stress, grief, or depression is building. When a respected owner or lead technician says it is normal to struggle and normal to feel, it gives others permission to stop hiding.
Leaders can model this in small ways: acknowledging when they are having a hard week, thanking someone for being honest, and responding with care rather than jokes when someone opens up.
Talk to Someone Before It Spirals
Lee emphasizes how important it is to talk to someone before mental health spirals. Reaching out early, whether to a friend, a counselor, or a crisis line, can make a critical difference. The National Institute of Mental Health lists ways to find help.
Many people wait until they are in crisis before reaching out. Talking earlier, when stress or sadness first starts to build, can keep problems from growing. A conversation with a trusted friend, a family doctor, a counselor, or a pastor can help someone make sense of what they are feeling and find next steps. Employers who offer an employee assistance program should make sure everyone knows it exists and how to use it confidentially.
Why the Industry Needs to Pay Attention
Around the 19 minute mark, Lee shares statistics showing suicide rates among automotive technicians far above the national average and explains why the industry must pay attention. He also discusses how stigma and pride keep too many people from seeking help. The CDC’s suicide prevention resources explain warning signs and how to help.
Several factors common in automotive work may add pressure: physically demanding jobs, long hours, flat rate pay that varies week to week, and a culture that values toughness. Leaders cannot remove every stress, but they can create a workplace where people feel safe asking for help. Learning the warning signs, such as withdrawal, talk of being a burden, sudden changes in behavior, or giving away possessions, helps coworkers know when to reach out.
Open-Door Leadership
Lee describes how he leads his shops with an open-door policy so employees know they can come to him. He explains why empathy, listening, and growth conversations build stronger teams. ATI’s Listening: Your Power Skill to Master offers practical listening techniques.
An open-door policy only works if people believe it. Employees watch how leaders respond the first time someone brings a personal struggle forward. If the response is supportive and confidential, trust grows. If the person is brushed off or their situation becomes shop gossip, the door effectively closes. Consistency and discretion are what make the policy real.
Growth conversations support well-being too. Regular one-on-ones that ask about goals, frustrations, and how someone is doing give people a natural place to raise concerns before they become overwhelming. ATI’s How to Keep Your Shop From Stressing You Out addresses stress from the owner’s side.
No One Should Face It Alone
Lee closes with a message of hope: life is beautiful, depression is real, and no one should face it alone.
How to Start a Conversation With an Employee Who Is Struggling
Many leaders want to help but worry about saying the wrong thing. A few principles make these conversations easier. Choose a private setting and a time when neither of you is rushed. Start with what you have observed rather than assumptions: “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed quieter lately, and I wanted to check in.” Then listen more than you talk. You do not need to solve the problem or have all the answers.
If someone shares that they are struggling, thank them for trusting you and ask what would help. Point them toward resources such as an employee assistance program, their doctor, or a counselor. If you are concerned about their immediate safety, it is okay to ask directly whether they are thinking about suicide. Asking does not plant the idea, and it can open the door to help. If the answer is yes, stay with them and contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline together by calling or texting 988. Follow up in the days afterward so they know your concern was genuine.
Ways to Support Mental Health in Your Shop
- Talk openly about mental health so employees know it is safe to speak up.
- Post the 988 Lifeline number and any employee assistance resources where everyone can see them.
- Practice an open-door policy and check in with people who seem withdrawn.
- Model seeking help yourself.
For more on mental wellness, listen to Eric Gibson in A Quantum Leap to Mental Wellness.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can a shop owner support employee mental health?
Start by talking openly about mental health so employees know it is safe to raise. Post crisis resources like the 988 Lifeline where everyone can see them, and make sure people know about any employee assistance program. Hold regular one-on-ones, check in with anyone who seems withdrawn, respond to concerns with care and confidentiality, and model seeking help yourself when you need it.
What should I say to a coworker who lost someone to suicide?
Keep it simple and sincere: “I’m so sorry” and “I’m here for you” are enough. Avoid asking how it happened or whether there were signs, which can add guilt and pain. Offer practical help, such as covering a shift or bringing a meal. Use the person’s name and share memories if your coworker wants to talk. Continue checking in over the following weeks and months.
What are warning signs that someone may be struggling?
Signs can include withdrawal from coworkers, changes in mood or behavior, increased lateness or absences, talking about being a burden or feeling hopeless, increased alcohol or drug use, and giving away possessions. Not everyone shows obvious signs. If you are concerned, ask directly and listen. If someone may be in immediate danger, call or text 988 or call 911.
Why is mental health a concern in the automotive industry?
Automotive work can involve physical strain, long hours, pay that varies with production, and a culture that has traditionally discouraged showing vulnerability. Those pressures can make people less likely to seek help. Industry leaders who talk openly about mental health, share resources, and treat support as a normal tool help change that culture and may help save lives.
Is it okay to ask someone if they are thinking about suicide?
Yes. Suicide prevention organizations advise that asking directly does not put the idea in someone’s head, and it can make it easier for them to talk honestly. Ask calmly and privately, listen without judgment, and do not leave the person alone if they are in immediate danger. Connect them with help by calling or texting 988 together, or call 911 in an emergency.
Resources and Links From This Episode
Connect With the Guests
- Lee Anderson: LinkedIn, Integrity Auto Care
