Balancing a demanding career with marriage and young children is one of the hardest juggling acts there is. In this episode, Kim Hickey talks with two people who do it every day: Ashley Lehr and Katie Plitt, described by Kim as pillars of ATI, an organization with more than 1,700 members and over 80 employees.
At the time of recording, Ashley’s son Travis was almost four and Katie’s son Caleb had just turned one. They talk openly about daily routines, how their kids see their work, the toll of being the “enforcer” at work and at home, how they handle mom guilt, and how they find time for themselves and their partners.
What You Will Learn
- About how our kids see us and how they feel about us working long hours every day
- How Ashley deals with being the “law enforcer” at work and at home
- What are the things Katie does to disconnect from work and have some time for herself
- How Ashley and Katie deal with mom guilt
Questions Asked in This Episode
- How do you juggle being a spouse, a mom, and the backbone of an organization?
- You set expectations and hold people accountable at work. And then at home, you’re sort of doing the same thing. What kind of toll does that take on you?
- How do you deal with the need to have ME time?
Juggling Spouse, Parent, and Professional Roles
Kim opens by asking how Ashley and Katie juggle being a spouse, a mom, and the backbone of an organization. Their answers are honest. There is no perfect formula. Each day involves trade-offs, planning, and support from partners and family. What helps most is being intentional about priorities and accepting that not everything will get done perfectly.
This conversation is valuable for anyone in the automotive industry who is raising a family, including the many shop owners and managers who work long hours. ATI’s Mastering Your Work-Life Sway explores how to find a workable rhythm.
Working parents often describe the challenge as one of constant switching between roles throughout the day. A morning might start with getting kids ready for school, move into a high-pressure meeting, include a call from a teacher, and end with homework and dinner. Each role demands attention and energy. Planning ahead, sharing responsibilities with partners, and relying on a support network of family and friends make that switching more manageable.
How Kids See Working Parents
Around the 6 minute mark, the conversation turns to how children see their parents and how they feel about long workdays. Kids notice more than parents often realize. They pick up on stress, on how work is talked about at home, and on whether parents are present when they are together. That awareness can motivate parents to be more deliberate about the time they spend with family.
Children learn about work by watching their parents. When parents talk about work with frustration and exhaustion, kids may see work as something to dread. When parents share what they enjoy about their jobs, the problems they solved, and the people they helped, kids see work as meaningful. Being intentional about how work is discussed at home can shape how children think about their own futures, including careers in the trades.
Being the “Law Enforcer” at Work and at Home
Kim notes that Ashley sets expectations and holds people accountable at work, and then does much of the same at home. She asks what kind of toll that takes. Ashley describes the emotional weight of always being the one who says no. Many leaders, especially those who also manage households, will recognize this feeling.
Sharing that role, whether with a spouse at home or a fellow leader at work, can lighten the load. So can clear systems and expectations that reduce the number of times someone has to step in and enforce rules.
Leaders who set expectations all day often find it hard to switch off at home. The habit of monitoring, correcting, and enforcing can carry over into family life, sometimes creating tension. Recognizing that pattern helps. Some people find it useful to create a short transition ritual between work and home, such as a walk, music on the drive, or a few minutes of quiet, to shift out of work mode before walking in the door.
Disconnecting From Work
Around the 15 minute mark, Katie shares what she does to disconnect from work and have time for herself. Unplugging can be difficult in a role where people depend on you, but it is necessary. Phones, e-mail, and messaging apps make it easy for work to follow you everywhere. Setting boundaries, such as specific times when notifications are off, protects both family time and mental health.
Many workplaces now recognize the importance of disconnecting. Some companies set guidelines about after-hours messages, and some countries have even introduced “right to disconnect” rules. Shops can create similar norms by agreeing that non-urgent messages wait until the next business day and that people on vacation are not expected to respond. Leaders who model these norms make it easier for everyone to rest.
Handling Mom Guilt
Ashley and Katie talk openly about mom guilt: the feeling of not doing enough at home because of work, or not doing enough at work because of home. Naming the feeling and talking about it with others who understand helps. So does remembering that showing children a parent who works hard and cares about their job can be a positive example.
Guilt often comes from comparing ourselves to unrealistic standards, such as the parent who seems to do everything perfectly on social media. Talking openly with other working parents helps reveal that everyone struggles in some way. Focusing on the quality of time together rather than just the quantity can also ease guilt. A fully present hour of play may matter more to a child than a distracted afternoon.
In a shop setting, guilt often spikes around predictable moments: a late car that keeps someone past pickup time, a Saturday shift that overlaps a game, or a phone call from school during a busy morning. Planning for those moments ahead of time, by agreeing on coverage with coworkers or setting expectations with family, reduces the scramble and the guilt that follows. Small agreements made in advance tend to work better than tough decisions made under pressure.
The Importance of “Me Time”
Kim asks how they deal with the need for time alone. The discussion highlights the importance of pausing and taking time away from kids, spouses, and every other responsibility. That is not selfish. It is how people recharge so they can keep showing up for everyone who depends on them.
Time alone can be as simple as a morning walk, a workout, a hobby, or a quiet coffee before the household wakes up. The specific activity matters less than consistency. Regular time to recharge reduces stress and improves patience, which benefits both family and work relationships. Partners can support each other by trading off responsibilities so each person gets that time.
How Shops Can Support Working Parents
Ashley and Katie’s experiences highlight something many employers overlook: working parents bring tremendous skills to the workplace, including organization, multitasking, patience, and problem-solving. Shops that support parents can attract and keep these valuable employees. Support might include flexible start and end times, the ability to leave for a school event or a sick child, predictable schedules, and a culture that does not penalize people for family commitments.
These policies do not need to be complicated. Clear communication about how scheduling works, cross-training so coverage is possible, and leaders who respect family time can make a shop a place where parents want to build careers. In an industry struggling to attract talent, being known as a family-friendly employer is a meaningful advantage. Charlene Parlett discusses flexible schedules and parental leave in How to Use Diversity and Inclusion to Grow Our Business.
Ideas for Working Parents in the Auto Industry
- Schedule family time on your calendar the same way you schedule meetings.
- Set a daily time when work notifications go silent.
- Share enforcement duties at home and at work so one person is not always the bad guy.
- Plan regular time alone, even an hour a week, to recharge.
For more on family and business, listen to Kelli and Lee Weatherby in Mixing Business and Family the Right Way and Cassandra and Autumn Bergum in Leading by Example and Prioritizing Personal Relationships. Mike Warren also talks about the hidden stress of the season in The B-Side of Holidays.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do working parents in the auto repair industry balance work and family?
Most find balance through planning and support rather than a perfect formula. Putting family commitments on the calendar alongside work meetings, agreeing on responsibilities with a partner, and leaning on family or friends for backup all help. Clear schedules at the shop make a big difference too. When coworkers are cross-trained and leaders respect family time, parents can step away for a school event or sick child without the whole operation suffering.
How can I stop thinking about work when I get home?
A short transition routine can help your mind shift gears. Some people take a walk, listen to music on the drive, or spend a few quiet minutes in the car before going inside. Turning off work notifications at a set time each evening also protects family time. If you lead a team, agree on what counts as urgent so that non-urgent questions can wait until the next business day without anyone worrying.
What can a shop do to support employees who are parents?
Practical options include flexible start and end times, predictable schedules posted well in advance, the ability to swap shifts, and permission to leave for family emergencies without penalty. Cross-training makes coverage possible when someone is out. None of this has to be complicated, but it does need to be communicated clearly so employees know what to expect. Shops known for respecting family life often have an easier time attracting and keeping good people.
Is it normal to feel guilty about working long hours as a parent?
Yes, many working parents feel pulled between work and home, and the feeling often comes from comparing yourself to unrealistic standards. Talking openly with other parents usually reveals that everyone struggles in some way. Focusing on the quality of time with your children, rather than the total hours, can ease some of the pressure. Showing kids a parent who works hard and cares about their job can also be a positive example for them.
