Emotional intelligence often gets dismissed as soft or “woo-woo.” Debbie Muno, Managing Director of Genos North America, makes the case that it is grounded in science and, more importantly, that it can be learned. Many things happen in our brains that we are unaware of, and those processes shape almost everything we do at work.
In the first of two episodes with Debbie, Kim Hickey explores what emotional intelligence is, why so many people feel drained, how the brain’s reward circuitry works, and what leaders can do to improve their own emotional intelligence. It is a practical conversation for any shop owner trying to lead a team through stressful times.
What You Will Learn
- What is emotional intelligence, and why it is related to the feeling of being drained all of us feel nowadays
- What is the reward circuitry, and how it affects our mood and cognitive functions
- The flat circuitry. Where everything goes South
- Debbie’s advice on how to improve our emotional intelligence
- We are not what we feel
What Emotional Intelligence Really Means
Debbie explains emotional intelligence in simple terms: it is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in ourselves and others. That ability influences how we communicate, how we make decisions, and how we respond under pressure. For leaders, it affects hiring, retention, productivity, and the overall feel of the workplace.
She connects it to something nearly everyone has experienced recently: the feeling of being drained. When people are constantly stressed and emotionally depleted, their ability to think clearly and treat others well suffers. Understanding why that happens is the first step toward doing something about it.
Most models of emotional intelligence describe a handful of related skills: recognizing your own emotions, managing how you express them, noticing what others are feeling, and using that awareness to guide your relationships and decisions. Psychologist Daniel Goleman popularized the concept in the 1990s, and since then many organizations have built assessments and training programs around it. Genos, Debbie’s organization, is one of the providers that measures emotional intelligence in the workplace and trains leaders to improve it.
What makes emotional intelligence practical for shop owners is that it shows up in ordinary moments: how you respond when a technician makes an expensive mistake, how you handle a customer yelling at the counter, how you deliver bad news about a pay plan change. Each of those moments either builds or erodes trust, and over time those small interactions define your culture.
The Modern Saber Tooth Tiger
The episode title refers to an idea many listeners will recognize. Our brains evolved to react quickly to physical threats, like a predator. Today, the threats are different: an angry customer, a missed deadline, a technician quitting without notice, or a cash flow crunch. The brain still reacts as if survival is on the line, which can trigger stress responses that make it harder to lead well.
Recognizing that reaction for what it is helps leaders pause before responding. A shop owner who can notice the stress response, rather than act on it immediately, will make better decisions and have better conversations.
When the brain perceives a threat, it triggers what is commonly called the fight-or-flight response. Stress hormones rise, the heart beats faster, and attention narrows to the danger. That response was useful for escaping predators, but it is less helpful when the “threat” is an angry customer on the phone. In that state, people tend to react rather than think, which is how simple misunderstandings turn into arguments.
A simple technique for leaders is to build a pause into stressful moments. Taking a breath, repeating back what the other person said, or saying “Let me look into this and call you back in ten minutes” gives the thinking part of the brain time to catch up with the emotional reaction.
The Reward Circuitry and the Flat Circuitry
Around the 7 minute mark, Debbie describes the brain’s reward circuitry and how it affects mood and cognitive function. When people feel recognized, connected, and engaged, their brains work in their favor. They are more creative, more focused, and more resilient.
She then explains the “flat circuitry,” the state where things go south. When people feel unappreciated, anxious, or disconnected, motivation drops and performance follows. For a shop owner, this explains why a technician who once loved the job can suddenly seem checked out. The cause is often emotional rather than technical.
Gallup’s research on workplace engagement, summarized in its State of the Global Workplace report, shows how widespread disengagement is and how much it costs businesses.
Leaders influence which state their team spends most of the day in. Recognition, clear goals, a sense of progress, and positive relationships with coworkers all activate the brain’s reward systems. Constant criticism, unclear expectations, and unpredictable leadership push people toward the flat, disengaged state Debbie describes. Neither state is permanent, which means leaders can deliberately shift the environment by changing how they communicate.
Even small changes help. Starting meetings with a win instead of a problem, thanking people for specific contributions, and celebrating milestones like a technician’s new certification all add moments of reward to the day.
How Feelings Drive Performance in the Shop
The core message of this episode is the direct link between how people feel and how they perform. That has practical consequences in an auto repair shop:
- Advisors who feel supported handle difficult customers with more patience.
- Technicians who feel respected are more likely to take pride in quality and stay with the shop.
- Teams that trust their leader communicate problems early instead of hiding them.
ATI’s The Role of the Manager in Employee Engagement and Why Employees Leave Managers, Not Shops show how this plays out in day-to-day shop leadership.
This connection has a direct financial impact. Disengaged employees are more likely to make mistakes, miss work, and leave. Each departure means recruiting costs, training time, lost productivity, and often lost customer relationships. Engaged employees, on the other hand, tend to be more productive, more careful, and more likely to recommend the shop to other skilled workers. In an industry where finding good technicians is hard, those differences add up quickly.
Debbie’s Advice for Building Emotional Intelligence
Around the 25 minute mark, Debbie shares practical advice for improving emotional intelligence. Like any skill, it improves with awareness and practice. Leaders can start by paying attention to their own emotional reactions, asking for feedback on how they come across, and making a habit of checking in with team members about how they are doing, not just what they are doing.
A few practical habits can help any leader build emotional intelligence over time:
- Name the emotion: when you feel a strong reaction, label it silently, such as “I’m frustrated.” Naming emotions tends to reduce their intensity.
- Ask for feedback: invite a trusted employee or peer to tell you how you come across in stressful moments.
- Practice curiosity: when someone reacts in a way you do not understand, ask questions before drawing conclusions.
- Reflect daily: spend a few minutes at the end of the day thinking about one interaction you could have handled better.
We Are Not What We Feel
Debbie closes with a powerful reminder: we are not what we feel. Emotions are signals, not identities. A leader can feel frustrated without becoming a frustrated leader. That separation creates space to choose a better response, which is the heart of emotional intelligence.
This idea is freeing for leaders who believe they are “just a hothead” or “not a people person.” Emotions are temporary, and skills can be learned. A leader who has struggled with anger or impatience can become calmer and more patient with practice. The same is true for employees. When leaders help their team see emotions as information rather than identity, people become more willing to talk about stress and ask for help before problems escalate.
Emotional Intelligence and Customer Service
Emotional intelligence is not only an internal leadership skill. It is also a powerful customer service tool. Customers who come in with a broken car are often stressed, worried about money, or frustrated about missing work. An advisor who recognizes those emotions and responds with empathy, such as “I know this is not how you wanted to spend your morning, let’s figure out the best way to get you back on the road,” can calm the situation and build trust before the estimate is even discussed.
Training advisors to listen for emotion as well as information, and to acknowledge it before jumping into technical details, can improve closing ratios and customer satisfaction. ATI’s How You Say It Matters explores how tone and word choice affect customer reactions.
Try This With Your Team
- Notice your own stress triggers this week and write down how you responded.
- Start your next one-on-one by asking how the person is feeling about their work.
- Recognize one specific contribution from each team member before Friday.
- When you feel a strong reaction, pause before responding to an email, call, or employee.
Debbie returns for part two in Looking After the Jan Bradys Within Our Organization. For more on managing your own reactions, listen to Sam Richter in Hit the Switch: Master Your Mood or It Masters Your Business.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is emotional intelligence in the workplace?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in yourself and others. At work, it shapes how people communicate, make decisions, and respond under pressure. For a shop owner, it shows up in everyday moments, such as responding to a technician’s costly mistake, calming an upset customer, or delivering news about a pay plan change. Those moments either build trust or wear it down, and over time they define the shop’s culture.
Can emotional intelligence be learned?
Yes. Like other leadership skills, it improves with awareness and practice. Leaders can start by noticing and naming their own emotional reactions, asking trusted people for honest feedback on how they come across under stress, and staying curious about why others react the way they do. A brief reflection at the end of each day on one interaction that could have gone better builds the habit. Progress is gradual, but people who practice consistently do get better.
How does employee engagement affect an auto repair shop?
Engaged employees tend to be more careful, more productive, and more likely to stay. Disengaged employees are more likely to make mistakes, miss work, and leave, and every departure brings recruiting costs, training time, and sometimes lost customer relationships. In a trade where skilled technicians are hard to find, engagement is a real business issue. Recognition, clear goals, a sense of progress, and a respectful relationship with the owner all help keep people engaged.
How should a shop owner handle stress in the moment?
Build a pause between the trigger and your response. Take a breath, repeat back what the other person said, or tell them you will look into it and call back shortly. That pause gives your thinking brain time to catch up with the emotional reaction. It also helps to remember that feelings are temporary signals, not who you are. Many leaders find it useful to notice their common stress triggers in advance so those moments are less of a surprise.
Resources and Links From This Episode
- Genos North America website
Connect With the Guests
- Debbie: LinkedIn
